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Outfit Details:

“A New Day” by Target Floral Kimono Cape

Target Maternity Denim Shorts

Michael Kors Wedge Patent Espadrille (old)

Target Straw Drawstring Crossbody

Chloe Dupe Oversized Wire Sunglasses

A New Day” Transparent Hoop Earrings

Hey loves!

Instagram has been a little source of contention for me lately. Instagram six/seven years ago was fun. There wasn’t the pressure of getting a ton of likes, followers or anything. I was inspired and intrigued by the images posted and the people themselves behind the camera. But now?? I find myself rolling my eyes at the things people do for likes and follows. I started to wonder why I was becoming so annoyed with my beloved Instagram. Then it came to me, it’s not the images themselves that were starting to annoy me, but the person behind the lens. Yes, thats right the Influencer or blogger that is “getting on my nerves.” Hear me out!

 

Now this post isn’t to bash anyone or hold anyone responsible for not keeping my interest on Instagram. But, I am sure we all at the age where we can tell someone is not their “cup of tea” or hey, we just do not have anything in common! Thats mainly why my unfollow game became so strong. I started to notice people personalities (maybe lack there of) and their overall vibe which forced me to question, “who the heck am I following?”

 

I’m not asking for you to entertain me or meet a certain level of expectation. But really, who are you?  Most of the accounts I follow on Instagram are fashion bloggers or influencers. So yes, it can get a bit repetitive in seeing similar styles and looks because it seems no one is an individual anymore. I digress, thats a whole other blog post! But, I’m just getting to the point where I want to know who you are behind all the pretty pictures. Feel me?

So who do I unfollow on Instagram?!

There are some bloggers who basically just sell their outfits of the day or promote their blog posts ALL THE DARN TIME.  You are pretty much the sales person I walk around to avoid at the store because I am not in the mood to be bothered. Every caption on Instagram is about the top you’re wearing, your Instagram stories is about telling people you have a new blog post up and to sign up for LiketoKnow.It. just about every week. Meanwhile, I don’t even know if you have a dog, cat or a goldfish. Isn’t there anything else about you besides you trying to earn likes, follows and commission sales?  This is why I unfollow on Instagram! I’ve had to hit the unfollow button on these Influencers so many times. I just simply cannot!

 

Let’s discuss those bloggers who will not respond to any questions in their comments or DMs. I also know quite a few bloggers who literally have said in their stories, “do not DM me about what I am wearing, head to my blog and go to my “SHOP” page to find out.” What?! This is such a huge, missed opportunity to properly engage with your audience. I do understand that some bloggers have a tremendous following, so they may not be able to respond to every DM about a pair of shoes they have on. But, I was taught, “its not what you say, its HOW you say it!” Its your followers that are helping you to pay for that Chanel bag or your rent and car payment each month. Treat us with a little decency. Actually, don’t even worry about it. Let me hit that unfollow button! Bye!

 

Here’s a quick one that I just had to understand and move on from. Influencers who only wear high end designers that I’ll never be able to afford (cause, you know I got daycare bills the amount of a mortgage payment over here).  Who wears a lace cami or satin top for $600 with a pair of jeans or a summer dress thats $900 that literally has me at “hello!” I’m sure I could find a look for less, but obviously your brand is not catering for my high-low, I’ll wear a Target piece with a quickness self. So why am I here? Let me move on and unfollow on Instagram! Its been real girl!

 

Ok, here’s a hard one that I gotta keep it real about. The ones who captions beg for sympathy and empathy basically all the darn time. I mean, whats really going on over there girl? Are you just going through a bad season in life or is this you every single day? Because I can keep you lifted in prayer, but are you popping up on my feed with signs of depression or some issues you need to let go and let God…. Y’all don’t come for me on this one. I honestly question if people are doing this to increase likes and get engagement on an Instagram post. Again, I’ve had to unfollow on Instagram. I can’t have this kind of negativity and bad energy come up every time I log into Instagram. I told you my unfollow game is strong. I’m not playing!

 

How do you feel about my thoughts on Instagram?

I know this blog post is unexpected. But, I feel by now you guys know I try to switch it up on the blog and discuss some topics that have been on my mind. My friend always laugh at me when I tell her “oh I unfollowed them” because she know I don’t play with entertaining the foolery lol. I just think its important to show people different facets of who you are. What makes you laugh? What’s important to you? Are you a foodie? Whats your favorite cocktail? What do you do to unwind or what you cooked for dinner? Something, anything to let us know that you have other interests other than what you present on Instagram. You know–in the perfect lighting, with the perfect filter and telling me to buy your shirt and it comes in five different colors. Insert eye roll here.

 

Ok, I’ve ranted long enough! Let me know your thoughts!

 

 

 

 

May 21, 2018 6 comments
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coffee talk, fall fashion, how to wear kimono, kimono style, kimono outfit, fall hats, flare jeans, blogging, blog life, negative side to blogging, the cons of blogging, dallas blogger, fashion blogger, black fashion blogger, black dallas blogger

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bad experiences with bloggers, coffee talk, fall fashion, how to wear kimono, kimono style, kimono outfit, fall hats, flare jeans, blogging, blog life, negative side to blogging, the cons of blogging, dallas blogger, fashion blogger, black fashion blogger, black dallas blogger

 

Outfit Details

Shein Botanical Floral Kimono

Navy Fedora Hat

(old, linked similar)

Zara Gray Booties 

(no longer avail, linked similar)

DVF Aviator Sunglasses 

(no longer avail, linked similar)

 

Hey Loves!

 

So today I am coming to you with a little coffee talk, chit chat or what have you. This has been on my mind a little bit and I thought I’d share with you all. I often share little tidbits on blogging and how to make it work for you. But, I haven’t shared the down side to it. There are quite a few areas that I can dive in to regarding that. But, lets talk about what makes blogging what it is. The people behind the blog who you follow. The actual bloggers themselves!

 

Now I am not gonna give any names or try to call people out. But, some of these bloggers out here are a trip. Some are in it for the money, recognition and yes the likes. I live in Dallas and there are a TON of bloggers here. Its almost like the darn mecca for bloggers. Because of that, I have met many at social events, blog conferences or meet ups. The great thing about living in a city with tons of bloggers is that you get to meet others who do what you do and  get what the blog life is all about. Most importantly, bloggers with whom you can chat, collaborate or become friends and grab dinner together! I am fortunate to know quite a few of bloggers who I enjoy hanging with and are happy to call my tribe.

 

But, honey let me tell you about those who do not meet my tribe category. The snobby ones who can’t bother to say hello, shake your hand or even hold a little small chat convo with you. The blogger clique who always appear to be at the same blogger event or photographed brand meeting together. Sometimes I think, were they the only ones offered an opportunity? No girl, they just looking out for their clique. Essentially, they are getting money together and ensure that their clique has “the plug” as y’all like to call it these days.

 

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to bash folks, but just to share what I have experienced and witnessed for myself!

 

So lets begin our coffee chat shall we?

 

I recall attending a store event where myself and a few other bloggers here in the Dallas were invited to attend as featured guests. I specifically recall one blogger, who I won’t give a name, left me with a bad impression. So I walked up to her and introduced myself and told her that I followed her on Instagram. She gave me the driest response and looked as so bothered that I was even near her. I’m like really though? Is this how you treat people in general? Her attitude was just so stank and unwelcoming. I couldn’t believe it!

 

Now, I am not going to make this about race or not, but I did wonder if that played a part in her attitude. Also, I know bloggers, who like myself, are of the melanated nature and have all said the same about her. I made sure to unfollow her that night because guess what? I am not going to contribute to you getting any coin from me. Not a click, like, follow or purchase will come from me to support your blog. First impressions are lasting! Every time I see her at an event, I strongly resist the urge to roll my eyes or give her a severe side eye lol.

 

Not supporting up and coming bloggers!

If you guys follow me on Insta Stories on Instagram, you know I typically do a “Follow Friday” a few times a month. Follow Friday is to share with my followers some of my favorite up and coming bloggers in the game who I feel they should follow. These bloggers generally have a following of under 15k and are deserving of more eyes on their Instagram!

 

I mentioned blogger cliques earlier and I noticed that one of the bloggers I used to follow from that same clique, just so happened to be doing the same thing. Well, her and her clique, were all doing Follow Friday and telling their followers to follow everyone in their clique. What annoyed me, is that these bloggers all have over 150k followers!! I personally thought, how obvious was it that they only support themselves?? Why not share the love with bloggers who are trying to get to those numbers? I get supporting your tribe, but again, to me they do not show tribe behavior. Its clique behavior all up and thru and I cannot get behind it.

 

The constant lack of diversity!

Let’s not even talk about lack of diversity when it comes to blogging. I could write a book on that for sure. As an African-American blogger in the game, I cannot tell you how many times I see only white bloggers at brand luncheons, campaign events and the like when I am on Instagram. I’m sorry, but its ridiculous!

 

Some of these Instagram pages lack any African- American bloggers and when you do see one, you have to scream for joy and shout it to the highest rooftop on their page to please share more. No, I don’t want to be invited so they can meet their quota or to take the heat off of people. But, I just believe your brand reach or target audience has quite a few African-Americans or even Latinas and the like as well. So, where are they??? Why don’t we see them? Were they even invited, reached out to, or asked for an opportunity for collaboration??

 

Why do I feel so strongly about this?

 

I know you may be reading this post thinking, dang girl, who made you mad? Lol. Actually, after blogging for almost 3 years, I am just starting to feel some kind of way about the things I see. I’ve been unfollowing a ton of bloggers I use to love because I just cannot take the fakery anymore.

 

One blogger, I use to absolutely love about five years ago! She was even following me back then when I was just taking outfit of the day pics in my backyard. She would even comment often on my pics. I noticed that she has changed so much over the time that her blog has taken off. She won’t even turn her DM on her Instagram. She tells you to go find everything on her blog. I mean, I get it girl, you probably would get tons of the same questions. But, its not what you say, its how you say it! I had to let unfollow her and a few others who appeared to be a bit beside themselves because of their popularity and growth. It just is what it is!

 

What lesson can you take away from this coffee chat?

I know that personally I am in a period in life where either you are real or fake. There is no in between. At this stage in my life where I am a wife, mother, blogger and everything else under the sun, things have to make sense. How I utilize my time and efforts are of the utmost importance to me. This is why its important to me to surround myself with others who like to encourage, uplift and motivate one another.

 

I enjoy meeting other women who are interested in blogging or just feel like we may have a connection. I enjoy getting emails or DMs from my followers who feel they can relate to me! It means a lot. I guess I am saying no matter how you elevate in life, be it career, ambitions or ventures, be true to yourself and others. Be the person you would be proud of! At the end of the day, the number of followers, likes or your bank account will not be how you are remembered. Am I right, or am I right?

 

Share with me some of your gripes with bloggers! This post is not meant to bash folks, but just to share what I have experienced and witnessed for myself!

 

 

October 19, 2017 20 comments
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Happy Friday eve!!

I don’t know about you but the kimono trend is here and I am feeling it. Kimonos can sometimes be a bit tricky to pull off. They can be too long and drag to the floor, too big to where you feel like you’re wearing a bath robe or even the fabric can be too flimsy or silky. Basically, you have to find one that works for you in terms of fit, use of wear and how you plan to rock it!

 

It was Zara (one of my fav places to shop) who had some super cute kimonos this season and I fell in love. I wanted them all! Fortunately, the Zara sale came thru and your girl got two to cure my craving. I particularly love how this kimono has buttons so it draws you in a bit and creates a shape. This eliminates the problem of feeling like you’re drowning in fabric. I wore it to brunch with a fellow blogger this past weekend. So of course we took to the streets and took some pics afterwards. I got soon many compliments and it made me think to round up some kimonos for you to try as well!

But, before we get into that, lets discuss a few things to look for when buying a kimono and styling it.

 

First, fit is everything! Kimonos typically come with a belt which is helpful to cinch you in and create a shape. But, if the belt is a bit too thin or give you bath robe vibes, consider wearing a wider belt with your kimono instead. Sometimes just because a belt comes with an item, doesn’t mean you should wear it. Switching out the belt gives you an opportunity to give the kimono some extra flair. Not to mention, make it your own unique piece!

 

Second, wear fitted clothes underneath the kimono such as a dress, skinny jeans or pants, pencil skirt or shorts like I am wearing here. For me, I don’t feel I would look good with loose clothes under an already flowy kimono. As you see in the pic, I chose to wear a cami and shorts which are more fitted to my body versus being baggy. I have seen some style the kimono with loose fitted pants and it looks amazing on them. But, I’m 5’3 so I want at least one piece to be fitted to my body so that I am now drowning in material.

 

Thirdly, determine what length is best for you. Kimonos come in various lengths which I love. That means if you are on the shorter side, maybe a kimono that hits at the thigh is best for you. You can also go midi length with the kimono which would be a great layering piece with a fitted dress. Ankle length kimonos also look great with pants or skinny jeans. The one I am wearing is a bit in between midi and ankle. So it worked perfectly styling it with shorts.

 

I hope these tips were a bit helpful in finding the perfect kimono. I’ve linked 21 for you to shop all under $50!! I already have a few of these on my wish list!

 

Which one is your favorite? Are you here for the kimono trend or nah??

 

Outfit Details

Zara Two Button Kimono

(no longer avail, linked similar)

American Eagle Distressed Tomgirl Shorts

Tory Burch Thong Sandals

(no longer avail, linked similar)

Tory Burch Satchel

(no longer avail, linked similar)

Black Cat Eye Sunglasses

(no longer avail, linked similar option)

July 20, 2017 0 comment
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