Outfit Details

Shein Botanical Floral Kimono

Navy Fedora Hat

(old, linked similar)

Zara Gray Booties 

(no longer avail, linked similar)

DVF Aviator Sunglasses 

(no longer avail, linked similar)

Hey Loves!

So today I am coming to you with a little coffee talk, chit chat or what have you. This has been on my mind a little bit and I thought I’d share with you all. I often share little tidbits on blogging and how to make it work for you. But, I haven’t shared the down side to it. There are quite a few areas that I can dive in to regarding that. But, lets talk about what makes blogging what it is. The people behind the blog who you follow. The actual bloggers themselves!

Now I am not gonna give any names or try to call people out. But, some of these bloggers out here are a trip. Some are in it for the money, recognition and yes the likes. I live in Dallas and there are a TON of bloggers here. Its almost like the darn mecca for bloggers. Because of that, I have met many at social events, blog conferences or meet ups. The great thing about living in a city with tons of bloggers is that you get to meet others who do what you do and  get what the blog life is all about. Most importantly, bloggers with whom you can chat, collaborate or become friends and grab dinner together! I am fortunate to know quite a few of bloggers who I enjoy hanging with and are happy to call my tribe.

But, honey let me tell you about those who do not meet my tribe category. The snobby ones who can’t bother to say hello, shake your hand or even hold a little small chat convo with you. The blogger clique who always appear to be at the same blogger event or photographed brand meeting together. Sometimes I think, were they the only ones offered an opportunity? No girl, they just looking out for their clique. Essentially, they are getting money together and ensure that their clique has “the plug” as y’all like to call it these days.

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to bash folks, but just to share what I have experienced and witnessed for myself!

So lets begin our coffee chat shall we?

I recall attending a store event where myself and a few other bloggers here in the Dallas were invited to attend as featured guests. I specifically recall one blogger, who I won’t give a name, left me with a bad impression. So I walked up to her and introduced myself and told her that I followed her on Instagram. She gave me the driest response and looked as so bothered that I was even near her. I’m like really though? Is this how you treat people in general? Her attitude was just so stank and unwelcoming. I couldn’t believe it!

Now, I am not going to make this about race or not, but I did wonder if that played a part in her attitude. Also, I know bloggers, who like myself, are of the melanated nature and have all said the same about her. I made sure to unfollow her that night because guess what? I am not going to contribute to you getting any coin from me. Not a click, like, follow or purchase will come from me to support your blog. First impressions are lasting! Every time I see her at an event, I strongly resist the urge to roll my eyes or give her a severe side eye lol.

Not supporting up and coming bloggers!

If you guys follow me on Insta Stories on Instagram, you know I typically do a “Follow Friday” a few times a month. Follow Friday is to share with my followers some of my favorite up and coming bloggers in the game who I feel they should follow. These bloggers generally have a following of under 15k and are deserving of more eyes on their Instagram!

I mentioned blogger cliques earlier and I noticed that one of the bloggers I used to follow from that same clique, just so happened to be doing the same thing. Well, her and her clique, were all doing Follow Friday and telling their followers to follow everyone in their clique. What annoyed me, is that these bloggers all have over 150k followers!! I personally thought, how obvious was it that they only support themselves?? Why not share the love with bloggers who are trying to get to those numbers? I get supporting your tribe, but again, to me they do not show tribe behavior. Its clique behavior all up and thru and I cannot get behind it.

The constant lack of diversity!

Let’s not even talk about lack of diversity when it comes to blogging. I could write a book on that for sure. As an African-American blogger in the game, I cannot tell you how many times I see only white bloggers at brand luncheons, campaign events and the like when I am on Instagram. I’m sorry, but its ridiculous!

Some of these Instagram pages lack any African- American bloggers and when you do see one, you have to scream for joy and shout it to the highest rooftop on their page to please share more. No, I don’t want to be invited so they can meet their quota or to take the heat off of people. But, I just believe your brand reach or target audience has quite a few African-Americans or even Latinas and the like as well. So, where are they??? Why don’t we see them? Were they even invited, reached out to, or asked for an opportunity for collaboration??

Why do I feel so strongly about this?

I know you may be reading this post thinking, dang girl, who made you mad? Lol. Actually, after blogging for almost 3 years, I am just starting to feel some kind of way about the things I see. I’ve been unfollowing a ton of bloggers I use to love because I just cannot take the fakery anymore.

One blogger, I use to absolutely love about five years ago! She was even following me back then when I was just taking outfit of the day pics in my backyard. She would even comment often on my pics. I noticed that she has changed so much over the time that her blog has taken off. She won’t even turn her DM on her Instagram. She tells you to go find everything on her blog. I mean, I get it girl, you probably would get tons of the same questions. But, its not what you say, its how you say it! I had to let unfollow her and a few others who appeared to be a bit beside themselves because of their popularity and growth. It just is what it is!

What lesson can you take away from this coffee chat?

I know that personally I am in a period in life where either you are real or fake. There is no in between. At this stage in my life where I am a wife, mother, blogger and everything else under the sun, things have to make sense. How I utilize my time and efforts are of the utmost importance to me. This is why its important to me to surround myself with others who like to encourage, uplift and motivate one another.

I enjoy meeting other women who are interested in blogging or just feel like we may have a connection. I enjoy getting emails or DMs from my followers who feel they can relate to me! It means a lot. I guess I am saying no matter how you elevate in life, be it career, ambitions or ventures, be true to yourself and others. Be the person you would be proud of! At the end of the day, the number of followers, likes or your bank account will not be how you are remembered. Am I right, or am I right?

Share with me some of your gripes with bloggers! This post is not meant to bash folks, but just to share what I have experienced and witnessed for myself!