Outfit Details

Express Denim Cold Shoulder Top (old, petite version HERE and love THIS!

Forever 21 Metallic Satin Palazzo Pants

Marc Fisher “Kegan” Gold Stud Wedge

Forever 21 Marble Drop Earrings in Orange

Nine West Multi Color Snakeskin Clutch (VERY old, but found one HERE!

Motherhood is one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life. I am so blessed to be the mother to Camille and Xavier. They are my world. I don’t take the gift of motherhood lightly at all. But, can I be free to share the part of motherhood that has been eye opening and emotional for me? Let’s chat about it shall we?

Xavier won’t eat. He only wants to be breast fed. He’s also very clingy towards me. Its hard sometimes to even put him down to take a shower or eat a meal without him bursting into tears. These things have made it challenging and a little stressful for me. We have consulted the doctor on what to do to get him to eat and it appears he may need a little therapy or see a GI specialist to determine the underlying cause. I’m hoping to find an answer to this soon!

As a mom, I am definitely concerned and want a solution to the problem immediately. Its said that breast milk or formula as the sole source of nutrition is fine for babies under a year. Which I am ok with, however, he is not gaining weight as he should. So the pressure to ensure he gains weight at this point is kind of on me since he is exclusively breastfed and refuses to take a bottle. I know this will probably resolve itself overtime. But, with him being so attached to me, it can become a little draining and exhausting to basically be your child sole source of comfort when a toy or daddy just wont do.

Sometimes you just have to cry!

The other day he was so fussy and crying so hard; just me trying to jump in the shower for a few minutes caused a major melt down for him. He’s usually happy to be in his walker in the bathroom while I shower, but that day, he wasn’t having it. The last few weeks he also hasn’t been sleeping well and waking up a good 3-4 times during the night to eat. I am assuming he’s either teething or a growth spurt. So of course, I am very much tired.

It was a rough day and I had reached my max. I text’d my husband to please come home while tears welled up in my eyes. I felt sorry for myself and sorry for my baby because he wasn’t happy unless I held him all day long. Thankfully my husband came to the rescue and had him while I took Camille to ballet. It gave me a chance to take a deep breath and find some peace, even in just the drive to her ballet class.

Once I got home and we got the kids to bed, I talked, well cried to my husband about just feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Of course, he told me I was a great mom and validated me in what I do daily for our family. But, it was hard to even let those words come out of my mouth because as a mom, I feel like I shouldn’t complain. There are other moms out there with kids who “appear” to be managing it all with a smile on their face. But, I know that they have those days too where they just want to scream, cry and find some sort of calm in the craziness of the day.

Its okay to ask for help!

Motherhood is such a gift, how dare I complain about it? This is where I have to tell myself its ok to let all of “this” out: to cry and just reset my mind and feelings. My husband is very much supportive and will help if I need him. But, I have to learn or allow myself to say, “hey can you please… a lot more often then I do now.

I think because I am a stay at home mom, (SAHM) I try to take care of household things and the kids so that my husband can relax when he gets home from a busy day at work. But, that may not be our season right now. Right now, I may need him to help out a little more just so I can not feel so overwhelmed and stressed. Sometimes a spa day or a lunch date alone just isn’t enough. Sometimes you just need HELP!

You will have good days and you will have bad days..

I wrote all of this as a reminder to myself to not try and do it all, ALL THE TIME! Its okay to cry some tears, scream at being frustrated and take some deep breaths to get through the remainder of the day. Its okay to feel this way and still be a great mom at the same time.

The following day after I had my cry session with my husband was a great one. I took Camille to swim class and watched her have so much fun. The kids and I went to lunch and I just felt more free and peaceful. I enjoyed my day with them! When my husband came home, he gave Xavier his bath and got Camille started with hers. I felt more calm, not anxious to get everything done or rushed. Xavier only woke up once last night too! It was a good night. It was a better day!

Talk to fellow moms about their experiences!

It is my prayer that me sharing this vulnerable moment with you helps in some way. I am very thankful too for the mommy Facebook groups that I am a part of that are non- judgmental and a safe place to chat with other moms who may be experiencing tough days. Please let me encourage you to chat with fellow mommies too if you feel stressed. Community is so important in this phase in motherhood. There are plenty of moms who can raise their hands and say, “hey me too!”

I am sure my pretty pictures on the blog give the appearance that I am easy breezy and care free. But let me tell you something! The power of a good outfit, a poppin’ lip and a little photo editing never hurt nobody!